NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, January 5, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 010514


STUPID HEADLINES 010514

It is time once again for:
Well I'll be!

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

No fake headline this week.

__________________________

How GM is making it near impossible to steal a Tahoe – Well you can steal one, but at 3 MPG you won’t get very far.

Marines delay female fitness plan after half fail pullup test – In order to even the playing field the Marines are requiring all male recruits to have a “C” cup or better.

Walmart recalls donkey meat in China – They received too many complaints that the meat tastes like ass!

Drunken woman reportedly shocked by electric fence at Denver Zoo – Why is an electric fence so shocking?  I see them all the ti…oh wait.

Florida beachgoer discovers human foot in shoe – Well it’s not Stepin Fetchit’s.

Chinese ship in Antarctica rescue fears it could get stuck in heavy ice, too – Al Gore claims that due to Global Warming it can’t be ice… “It must just be frozen water.”

Man tries to sell stolen brains on eBay – Brain was from a Mr. Abe Normal.

Oregon’s horse tripping ban and other new laws kick off 2014 – That just ruined half of my Colorado pot smoking and Oregon horse tripping vacation.

Colorado teacher asked students to send topless photos – Only if they wanted extra credit.

Deer walks into Pa. sporting goods store through front door, gets tackled by customer – I don’t know this joke but  the punch line has to be “hey, it’s only a buck!”

Zac Efron's jaw wired shut after bizarre sex accident, friends joke – Sounds serious to me, not a joke, but at least someone must be smiling.
_____________________________
                                                                           
 Last week’s fake headline was:

Study proves left-handed people prefer pepper grinders to shakers – Another study proved that studies studying stupid stuff are stupid.

And the winners are:

         TexWisGirl said...

i'm going for pepper grinders this week.

 

Stephen Hayes said...

I'm left-handed and prefer pepper grinders, but I still think this one is fake.


Jeanie said...

If I was guessing, I think I would also guess the pepper grinder story.

http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif

Joanne Noragon said...

Pepper grinders. I'm getting the hang of this now.

 

For great pictures of birds and fences (YES FENCES!) visit


 

Art lessons and terrific stories are on Stephen’s site


 

I think Jeanie is on a blog break, but visit anyway and say hello.


 

One of my favorite ladies, she tells it like it is and sometimes dishes out a little tough love.  If you are looking for wisdom try Joanne @ http://cuponthebus.blogspot.com/

 

Visit all the winners and say congratulations!  

 

 And come back next week for more “Stupid Headline Sunday!”

9 comments:

  1. Methinks the Colorado teacher needs to put in a bid on the stolen brains being offered on Ebay (see above).

    S

    ReplyDelete
  2. not even going to challenge us with a possible lie this week, eh? going soft on us?

    ReplyDelete
  3. You have quite a talent for squeezing humor out of these headlines. This puts you in the same category as Will Rogers, who I hold in the highest esteem.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your jest about "frozen water" is actually sorta true. Science ships now encounter sea ice extending much farther from the polar ice than in the past. This sea ice is created when ice from the polar ice cap melts and runs off into the ocean waters, and then freezes. It is now interfering with surface currents at a particular spot and may cause severe weather changes even in the northern hemisphere. Go figure.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Heh, heh. I must laugh at your ruined vacation.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The 'marines' headline reminds me of one of my favorite short stories. Have you ever read "Harrison Bergeron" by Kurt Vonnegut? If not, I have a feeling you'd like it as much as I do. Here's a link...

    http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/harrison.html

    ReplyDelete
  7. No horse tripping? Next thing you know they're going to ban cow tipping in Idaho.

    ReplyDelete
  8. As a former Marine, I know how important it is to maintain your physical fitness.

    Women Marines don't have to meet the Men's PFT requirements. They have their own standards. WMs should be held to the WM standards the same way Male Marines are held to the Male Marine standards.

    I't all about being ready to do your job.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!