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Sunday, December 1, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 120113


STUPID HEADLINES 120113

It is time once again for:
 
Why is this news, doesn't that happen all the time?
 
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.


One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

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Scientists accidentally kill world's oldest animal at age 507 – Oh relax, the animal was a clam, 507 is only 65 in clam years.

Detroit Man Protects Home With Dummies – “Stop! Who am you?”

Girl says Florida school threatening expulsion over her ‘natural hair’ – Big deal! In Beverly Hills they expel girls for having a natural nose.

Professional Driver Survives Insane 180 MPH Car Crash – I’m thinking he might want to change professions.

Zimmerman had 5 guns, more than 100 rounds of ammo when arrested, court papers say – You never know when someone is going to attack you with multiple bags of Skittles.

Sanyo to market flat screen TV’s produced by 3-d printer – Wait…WHAT?

Mass. condo uses DNA testing to bag dog-doo culprits – Why would dog walkers leave their DNA around?

Cow farts a greater problem than EPA previously thought – Add Beano to their feed and there’ll be no problem!

Wisconsin hunter says two bucks stolen from truck; hopes thief needed them – Put your money in your pocket, not in an open truck…dang, how hard is that?

Squirrel kidnapped in Utah returns home for holidays – Owner had to pay a fortune in nuts delivered in unmarked shells.

Jason Kidd Fined $50,000 for Dropping Cup – Well yeah, but Kobe was wearing it at the time.

Man arrested 56 times going to work – No wonder the unemployment level is so high.

 

Last week’s fake headline was:

Apple developing a computer that can be controlled by blinking – It will be called the i-lid.

The only reader to correctly identify the fake was Old (and I mean old) friend Charley Widmer.  Charley has no blog so I don’t know what to plug for him so instead I am just going to award him a waytago.

Waytago Chuck!

14 comments:

  1. OK, I'll play this week.

    Can't do any worse than my NFL picks lately.
    I'll go with the squirrel story. Just a hunch.

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  2. "Professional Driver Survives Insane 180 MPH Car Crash "

    As a professional driver he should have known to only participate in SANE 180 MPH car crashes.

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  3. I am going to say today's fake is the Detroit man protecting his home with dummies. I've never been to Detroit, but I've heard it's a pretty violent city so he was most likely protecting his home with a S and W!

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  4. I hate to say me, too, but the squirrel story was the one that jumped out at me. So to speak.

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  5. I would believe it really happened, but I'm hoping it didn't, so I'm going with the Wisconsin Hunter and the two dollars. :)

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  6. I'm picking Big Screen Sanyo as fake. We have a 3D printer at school. At the rate that thing operates, it will take about a month for a big screen TV to print.

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  7. DNA testing is too expensive to be used to identify a poopy dog so I'm picking that one.

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  8. I am going with the flat screen TV one this week. I know you can make guns but I do not think they are up to making a TV at this time.

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  9. Oh it has to be the squirrel. No one would welcome back a squirrel that finally went away. Now if he went back to West Virginia for the holidays, I could see it. Trussed up in the center of the table with an acorn in his mouth.

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  10. HAHA! Thanks for the giggles. Again. TV for me please.

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  11. the squirrel, though unmarked nuts made me giggle.

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  12. Only ONE is fake! Crazy world we live in. I'll go with the DNA testing on the dog poop.

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  13. My pick is the "cow farts" one...because...well, okay so I'm only picking that one because the word FART is in it. It made me giggle. But really, what journalist would use that word when writing a story that is supposed to be taken seriously! So yea, that's the fake one.

    ReplyDelete

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