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Sunday, November 24, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 112413


STUPID HEADLINES 112413

It is time once again for:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.


One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

_______________________

Being Bilingual May Delay The Onset Of Alzheimer's – Or at the least you forget stuff in multiple languages.

Oxford dictionaries name 'selfie' as word of the year – Damn, I was routing for “gubba.”

George Zimmerman charged with assault and battery after disturbance call – He is claiming self -defense because his girlfriend was wearing a hoodie and offered him some Skittles.


Mississippi girls' basketball coach resigns after allegations he bit player – Girl failed to set a pick, and coach Tyson just lost his cool.


Woman arrested 396 times vows to turn life around – So after 396 she’s going to do a 360?


Tom Brady, Gisele Bundchen bodyguards sentenced to 5 years after shooting – So I guess Brady is going to miss a few games, what was he thinking.


Gay waitress who received note about 'lifestyle' in place of tip will donate to Wounded Warrior Project    - I wonder if the deadbeat asshole who left the note will contribute the withheld tip to a worthwhile cause…Hmmm…probably not.


Husband Convicted Of Manslaughter After Dutch-Oven Goes "Horribly Wrong" – Cranky Old Man does not normally include headlines of a tragedy, but this is just over the top!


 OK, just checked this out and it is a hoax…still funny! (Not counted as the fake headline because it is a real fake headline…or something…


Apple developing a computer that can be controlled by blinking – It will be called the i-lid.


British People Are Furious That Kate Middleton Twirled Her Hair In Public – Hmmm…that is really disgusting especially for someone in British Royalty…WHAT? Oh…PUBLIC…never mind.


Navy POW held by China runs for Senate in NebraskaAh…excuse me, China, but if he is in Nebraska YOU’D BETTER LET HIM GO!!


Two men save shark from choking on moose – Telegram …Ah… candygram…Er…mailman…Hmmm…landshark.  http://telly.com/GVSNS


 


Last week’s fake headline was:


Three year old daredevil jumps 27 Tinker Toys with a tricycle “Tot Tops Toys on Trike!” 


The winners who correctly identified the fake:


          TexWisGirl said...

i'm going for 3 yr old evel knievel.

           lime said...

           i think it's the tinker toy story. i don't think a kid today has any idea     what a tinker toy is.
      Visit  TexWisGirl @ http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com/
      Visit lime @ http://houseoflime.blogspot.com/

The fishducky award for funniest comment goes to lime who didn’t think a three year ole jumping tinker toys on a trike was strange, but reasoned that a kid today wouldn’t kno know what a tinker toy is.

8 comments:

  1. "British People Are Furious That Kate Middleton Twirled Her Hair In Public"

    Then what are they going to think when they see her stripper pole? Oh....pubLic....never mind. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. i'm going for hair-twirling kate, too. :)

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  3. I'm glad I stopped guessing because I have ABSOLUTELY no idea!! (Was that answer correct?)

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  4. A shark was choking on a moose? I don't think so, which means it's true.

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  5. I'm picking the scofflaw who was arrested 396 times. Somehow, I have trouble believing she's ready to turn over a new leaf. Maybe on the 400th arrest...but not the 396th.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have no clue which headline is fake, but I know the first one is true. And you are right, sometimes you forget something in BOTH languages. I call that bilingually illiterate. And sometimes I start out a sentence in one language and finish it in the other one. Then people look at me as if I already have Alzheimer's.

    ReplyDelete
  7. wheeee!!! glad my reasoning made you chuckle as well as earning me kudos.

    ReplyDelete

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