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Sunday, November 10, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 111013


STUPID HEADLINES 111013

It is time once again for:

 

 
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
Sounds like a bargain
 

 

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
 
One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

 

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Librarian says she was fired after complaining of colleagues having sex in children’s section I have to agree with the librarian, her colleagues should be having sex in the adult’s section.

Man passes out in bathroom, wakes up in hospital with $150,000 bill – He has no idea where he got it, but is trying to find a bank that will make change for a $150K bill.

Irradiated corn plants produce self-popping corn – They could make quite a mess if not harvested in time.

Tom Cruise: My work as an actor is as hard as fighting in Afghanistan - I guess, except for the bullets and of course acting pays $87,000 more per hour than a soldier

Vatican survey addresses gay marriage, birth control – I realize these are relatively new concepts for the Vatican, but seriously…gay couples really don’t have to worry about birth control.

Berlusconi says his woes are like what Jews had under Hitler – Well yeah, except for without the work camp, starvation, torture, and gas chamber thing.

Religious beliefs keep high school runner from wearing bib number '666' – There is a reason elevators always skip from floor 665 to 667.  (Seriously this was so dumb; just give the girl a different number…stupid power hungry inflexible bureaucrats.) 

Scientists Discover New Body Part – Now they need to discover a disease of the new body part.

Doctors find giant ball of fungus in man's lungs – At least they found a new body part looking for it.

(Ball of Fungus…wasn’t that the name of Suldog’s rock band?)

Justin Bieber reportedly goes to a Brazilian brothel and leaves in a bed sheet – Damn, those ladies took him for everything!

Let there be light! Thanks to large mirrors, winter sun finally shines on Norwegian town – Break that mirror and its 943 years of bad luck.

Home Depot says sorry for 'offensive' tweet – I’m all the time apologizing for offensive tweets…and I’m not even on Twitter.

 

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Last week’s fake headline was:

Man’s law suit against toy boomerang company comes back to haunt him – So boomerangs failure to boomerang causes law suit that boomerangs…wait what?

AND THE WINNERS:

                         fishducky said...

Man’s law suit against toy boomerang company comes back to haunt him. Do you know what they call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!!

 

I'm going to bow out of this competition after today--but I'll still be reading them!!

                        TexWisGirl said...

even before i read fishducky's comment, i decided to go with boomerang.

no, fishducky, don't go! who will we idolize in your absence!!!

Visit fishducky @ http://fishducky.blogspot.com/ for funny stuff

Visit TexWisGirl @ http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com/ terrific wildlife pictures and more.

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As fishducky is bowing out of future contests Cranky Old Man has decided to create an additional award for the funniest comment on any Stupid Headline.  This award shall be named:

The “fishducky stupid headline award”
With Fran's permission the winner can post Fran's icon on their blog
Without permission, steal it...I won't tell!
 

9 comments:

  1. i'm going for microwaved popcorn this week.

    and tom cruise is a f**kin' idiot! no, i'm not trying for the new fishducky prize. just my opinion...

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  2. You have a lot of religion going on this week.
    I never bet because I never win.
    But, did Tom Cruise really say that?
    Wait--who is Tom Cruise.

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  3. I would like to say Tom Cruise's comment because that would be just about the stupidest thing he's said to date... which probably makes it true. SIGH

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  4. I know I said I wasn't going to guess any more, but if I did, it would be........!!

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  5. I don't know what this newly discovered body part is but I'm willing to bet mine is either too big, too small, or in need of viagra-like chemicals to make it function properly.

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  6. Give me the fake self-popping corn. I'll be standing at the edge of the field with self-churning cows, selling butter to the on-lookers.

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  7. My bet is on the irradiated self-popping corn. This (if true) could create quite a ruckus if it happened at night!

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  8. i think it has to be the self-popping corn. sadly i know the tom cruise headline to be true. what a damned fool. ship that moron off to afghanistan and lets see how he fares.

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  9. I'm going with Man passes out in bathroom, wakes up in hospital with $150,000 bill. I was going to go with the self popping corn but everyone else was going with it.

    ReplyDelete

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