KEEP HALLOWEEN OUT OF SCHOOL
A cranky opinion for
Cranky Opinion Saturday
The following is the opinion of a cranky old man. Opposing opinions are welcome, they are wrong, but welcome, and please no name calling…that means you, you big stupid head!
I have already seen my first article of the season about parents being upset because their school is not celebrating Halloween.
Kids can’t read; no problem. Kids don’t know the American political system; no problem. No dress code; no problem. Teachers get no respect; no problem. Drugs in school, grades dumbed down, no discipline; no problem.
Don’t allow kids to come to school dressed like ghosts, witches, space creatures, super heroes, and slutty pop stars…BIG PROBLEM!
Could we just get a grip? We can’t have any mention of God in school…I get it. You cannot bring a pen knife, a toy gun, or an aspirin to class…I get it. Why is dressing up for Halloween at school some kind of national right? Halloween is not a holiday. It is a fun tradition for little kids which should take place after school in the local neighborhoods.
When the school allows these costumes, that is one more day where no teaching takes place. It is a day where highly paid, highly trained professionals become baby sitters. It demeans the school, it demeans the education process, and dammit if we can’t have God we shouldn’t have goblins.
You might have guessed that I do not like Halloween.
I like the little kids getting excited about dressing up and getting candy. That is a fun tradition. I like the decorations and the fun ghosts, spiders and other scary displays on people’s front yards. I like the carved pumpkins. I like the candy corn.
I do like Halloween.
I hate the open season for vandalism that occurs the night before Halloween. Where did that tradition come from? Why is it ok to egg cars and houses, paper yards, break windows, and worse on that stupid night? I hate sixteen year old kids with a patch over their eye for a costume ringing my bell at 10:00 pm asking for candy, and catching an attitude when they don’t like my offering.
Here are Cranky’s rules for Halloween:
1. Participants – Age 3-11.
2. Time – 4:00 pm – 8:00 pm
3. Costumes – Participants must not be recognizable.
4. Participants must demand “Trick or Treat” when a door is opened.
5. Treat – Not to exceed a small candy bar or Hershey kiss per participant
6. Participant must say “Thank you” upon receiving treat.
7. Trick – Not to exceed chalk on the driveway and only if no treat is provided.
8. Houses with out a front light on are exempt from treat extortion.
9. Greeting participants at the front door with scary masks is encouraged.
The final rule…Halloween does not belong in school…get over it!
The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.