THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Saturday, September 28, 2013
A cranky opinion for
Cranky Opinion Saturday
Warning!! The following parental
advice comes from a cranky old man with no accredited expertise in child
rearing whatsoever.He has been at least
partially responsible for bringing three human beings into the world as
productive citizens who have never been arrested for a crime or been targeted
as major drug abusers*.He is currently
working on a fourth and hoping for similar results. Opposing opinions are welcome, wrong, but welcome and please no name calling, and that means you, you big stupid head.
How do you
punish your children in today’s world where any form of physical abuse can be
reported and you may lose your child to social services?You can’t verbally abuse them either. Many
children know all this and even threaten to report and or sue parents that do
not follow acceptable parenting practices.
withhold their allowance.Somehow kids
manage to still get what they need.You
can take away TV privileges. That means you also have to take away their phone,
i-pad, i-pod, and PC.
punishments just don’t work. Without these electronic toys, they will drive you crazy and they won’t be able to do their school work.
ground your child.
the most useless punishment of all.Essentially it is an extended “time-out” which is often successful with
a teen is a joke. A teens first reaction to almost anything is to rebel. Grounding is giving them something extra to rebel against.
A grounded teen will
either sit out his punishment with all his fancy electronics and do their time
as easy as standing on their heads;
pester you with constant questions and whining and the “grounding” will be more
torture for the parents than the teen.
TV shows always
make grounding look like an effective disciplinary tool.When a TV teen acts up the TV dad always just
“That is it young lady, you’re
“THAT’s not fair daddy!”
“Not fair? Make it two weeks!”
“Wanna try for four weeks?”
these scenes are written by idealistic young people who are not yet parents
themselves.I wonder how many young real
parents fall for this great TV fantasy scenario.
life, after the “Not fair? Make it two
weeks” decree, the teen’s response is,
“You might as well make it ten years,
my life is over, I wish I was never born!”
followed by slammed doors, broken stuff, hysterical crying, and ultimately
results in participating in a Dr. Phil segment where the parents are forced to
read “Life Code,” Dr. Phil’s latest best seller which is published by his son
(Dr. Phil works that into every show he does.)
What is the
answer to disciplining a teen?
the day you bring your child home from the hospital.Parents have to be in control, have to be the
leaders of their pack, and have to have the child’s absolute respect.Parents have to be firm but fair from day
one.They have to be calm assertive and
the child needs to be calm submissive.(See Cesar Millan “The Dog Whisperer.”)
relationship is established, discipline is simply a matter of showing
My dad never
raised his voice (hardly ever.) If any
of his children were caught misbehaving he would get a look in his eye and his
body language would scream DISSAPOINTMENT.When dad was disappointed and even HURT
by our behavior it was a punishment worse than any yelling, beating, or
grounding could ever be.
look of hurt, came the explanation of the why, and the “don’t let me hear of
That was it!
You want to
discipline your teen, start before he can walk.Be a leader; be calm, be fair, be firm, and be consistent.When you make a mistake, admit it.When they are teens, they will fear your
disappointment more than any punishment.
don’t have to be perfect, you just need to try.
Or, you can
ground them…good luck!
The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management...Mrs. Cranky.