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Thursday, September 19, 2013

Women's Mind Game


Women's Mind Game

 
OK ladies, just admit it…you get bored so you just like to mess with our heads.

When I need something, getting information on the location of said needed object from Mrs. Cranky is like pulling teeth.

“Hey Kare, do you know where the hammer is?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“Downstairs.”

“Downstairs in the basement?”

“No downstairs is downstairs, the basement is the basement.”

“Where downstairs?”

“By the table.”

“The table in the living room or the table in the family room?”

“Oh for crap sake, I’ll get it.”

All right I get it, I’m an idiot, I can’t find anything...but a woman’s instructions…damn!

The other morning I go down stairs for coffee.

“You want me to bring anything up?”

“Just a small Jet’s glass of orange juice.”

We have two glasses that Mrs. Cranky got from the gas station back in the day when stations had to compete to sell gas (GIYP.)  They have the NY Jets logo etched in them.  They are small glasses.

What is a small Jet’s glass of orange juice?

Is it orange juice from a small Jet’s glass, or a small glass of orange juice in a Jet’s glass?

Since the Jet’s glasses are small, I deduce there is no need to describe the only two Jet’s glasses in the house; therefore Mrs. Cranky must want only a little orange juice in a Jet’s glass.

WRONG!

“Here is your juice Kare.”

“Why did you only get me half a glass?”

“You said ‘a small glass of juice’.”

“No, I said orange juice in a small Jet’s glass.”

“But the Jet’s glasses are small; why not just ask for orange juice in a Jet’s glass?”

“You’re a jerk!”
 
I think she does it on purpose.
 
 

17 comments:

  1. The things we have to do to keep you men on your toes, eh?

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  2. Shoot with my hubby I like throwing in *it's on the whatjamacallit* just for giggles and confusion! :)

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  3. One of you don't talk English so good.

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  4. SD knows where EVERYTHING is, well, other than the bycicle saddle from my bike that he replaced with a new one a few weeks ago and I must have apparently put somewhere! I'm going to try the orange juice trick and ask him to bring me some in the coke glass, we have about 6, all different colours, it'll completely throw him-thanks Mrs C!

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  5. Oddly enough, I understood everything she said.

    :-)

    Pearl

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  6. we have a set of those glasses w/ dallas cowboys on them. :)

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  7. This time even I didn't understand her--maybe I should ask Pearl what she meant!!

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  8. LOL what is life without bugging my husband on things that don't matter?

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  9. We always thought you could read minds.....

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  10. The glass is small; she wants it full of juice. Sigh. I suppose she just got it herself.

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  11. When asking a question, my husband likes a straight yes or no answer in response. Sometimes, the answer needs qualification though and he gets frustrated when the answer doesn't fit into either 'yes' or 'no' format.

    Using your hammer as an example (because for the life of my I can't remember one of my own), he might ask, "Did you move my hammer?" The answer might be "No, a grand tornado came up and lifted it away and it landed on a witch in Oz", but he would want a Yes or No, so the answer would be No. Do you see the cause of many a disagreement in our household?

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  12. The last line ("You're a jerk!") made the laughter explode from me. I think it's a guy thing, maybe from listening to Moe throw around insults for 50-some years now.

    Hey, I've been really crummy about getting over here and commenting and stuff. I'll probably be crummy again sometime, too, but at least now I've admitted it (which is the first step toward a cure, or so I've heard in all the 12-step literature I've ever read.)

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  13. This one really made me laugh because it sounds so similar to conversations at my house.

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  14. I'm perplexed by what you don't seem to get.

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  15. How could you not understand that?

    But even more astonishing, YOU BROUGHT HER A GLASS OF JUICE! Even if it WAS the wrong kind. Let me see...the last time my husband brought me a glass of juice was...NEVER!

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  16. It all made sense to me, I'm not sure why you're having a hard time understanding her ... said the woman.

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  17. I understood the request. :)

    When I give instructions to my husband, I have to, first, think like he thinks, then instruct him based on how I know he will interpret. Making a grocery store request requires major specifics, otherwise, he will always come home with the wrong thing and two times the amount.

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