STUPID HEADLINES 090113
It is time once again for:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
|How do they do it?|
One headline is completely made up. Guess the fake and win a mention.
Anna Kendrick recommends drinking on a first date 'if sex is off the table' – So on her first date she usually has sex on a table?
Live grenade found near McDonald's in Vermont – Fast food chain decides to discontinue the “McPineapple.”
New York Yankee Alex Rodriquez admits to taking performance enhancing drugs - Yankee third baseman then sues manufacturers of these drugs for their complete failure to enhance his performance.
|Only missed by a foot!|
Connecticut man, 81, accidentally shoots self after sneezing – Man swears he didn’t know his nose was loaded.
Will Bernanke Announce Policy Changes in Jackson Hole? – Oh no, I am not going to touch this one!
RI police arrest man naked and covered in Crisco* – Man wanted to join the Friars Club.
All 25,000 students who took University of Liberia admission test fail – It is a one question test, “Do you want to attend the University of Liberia?”
Atheists Call 9-11 Memorial Cross “Grossly Offensive” – I’ve got better shit to do than these ass holes, and I’m retired!
Teresa And Joe Giudice Freak Out Over $5 Beach Fees – She is a “Real Housewife of New Jersey?” Doesn’t everyone from New Jersey know you go in the water when the beach-badge girl comes around!
Kim Jong-un's ex-girlfriend reportedly executed by firing squad – You do not say, “It’s not you; it’s me" to Kim Jong-un.**
Zimmerman's wife needs to 'think about' staying married – Just don’t use your “Thinking Hoodie!”
Massachusetts owes Obama $312.46 – Better pay up, he is the Commander-in-chief!
Video from Egypt shows Muslim mob attacking Christian church, taking down cross – Big deal; just don’t draw a cartoon of Jesus
I KEEL YOU!!
*Thanks Uncle Skip http://lionskip.blogspot.com/
**I apologize for making fun of this atrocity. Kim’s ex and several others were machine gunned down for participating in a “pornographic film.” They did not define “pornography.” The family members of these women were forced to watch the execution and were then sent to Korean Prison Camps.
Kim Jong-un is a disgusting, deranged, fat, shrived-dick pig.
Last week’s fake headline was:
Lindsey Lohan declares, “I am drug and alcohol free!” – Well they do say the first 15 minutes is the hardest!
The only winner was…(drum roll) FISHDUCKY!!!
I think it's the Lindsey Lohan one.
Visit fishducky and her knee slapping funny blog @ http://fishducky.blogspot.com/