THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Sunday, August 11, 2013
STUPID HEADLINES 081113
STUPID HEADLINES 081113
It is time once again for:
This week’s stupid headlines and my
stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
One headline is completely made up. Guess the fake and
win a mention.
Citrus farmers enlist army of wasps to help save crops – You know the economy is bad when white
Protestants have to take farm work.
15-ton ball of fat removed from London sewer – It was just Michael Moore filming an
arrested for pistol-whipping his father when he caught him having sex with his
wife in their son's bedroom –
Alaska man kills charging bear with assault rifle – Man claims the hardest part was wrestling the
assault rifle from the bear.
American tourist snaps finger off 600-year-old statue at
Italian museum – Museum guards
were outraged, especially after the tourist gave them the finger.
Worker Rescued After Being Pinned In Old Bridge, N.J. – Well,
the Maple was a state champion.
Florida man who survived lightning strike now recovering
from shark bite in Bahamas – Well
I guess God doesn’t love everyone.
California man who thought he was a lesbian gets sex
change – He then wanted to change his mind, but brain transfers
are illegal in California.
Shark found on
New York subway car – Big deal, It is Shark Week!
New Zealander building 3D-printed Aston Martin DB4 – But you have to wear those funky glasses to drive the thing.
Skydiver escapes locked coffin, parachutes
to safety– I have heard of a skydiver forgetting his parachute, but
to forget you are in a locked coffin?
A Book the Size of a Ladybug
– I really don’t want to say this, but I
cannot help myself…“Just the right thing for some light reading.”*
Britney Spears Wears Mini Dress and Thigh-High
Boots to Church - This is outrageous and unbelievable!
Britney went to church?
Bill to allow transgender students to choose
bathrooms moves to California governor's desk – I wonder how much it will cost California tax payers when all government
buildings have to have a His/Hers/and Whatever.
US to re-open 18 closed embassies this
weekend – President Obama has a 9:00 tee time!