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Sunday, July 21, 2013

Stupid Headlines 072113


Stupid Headlines 072113

It is time once again for:

 

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
 
 
I hope they stop him before he hurts himself!
 

  

 

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments. 

 
One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

________________________________
Saudi Arabian Airlines reportedly refuses Israeli passport holders to purchase tickets – This makes sense, Saudi airplane terrorists outnumber Israeli by 276 – 0…those Israeli terrorists are long overdue.

Man Buys Toy Poodles, Learns They’re Ferrets on Steroids – The huge Neanderthal forehead, tiny testicles and poor anger management should have been a big give away.

Human-powered helicopter beats the odds – Man succeeded in take-off, but crashed due to a torn rotator cuff.

Amanda Bynes calls President Obama, Michelle 'ugly' – Now that I’ve  Googled, “Who the F is Amanda Bynes” I don’t think the Obamas should be too upset.
Thinks the Obamas are ugly?
 

Danish woman runs 366 marathons in 365 days – Big deal, I ran a rat race every day for 40 years!

Able-bodied woman wants surgery to make her paraplegic – Her brain surgery to turn her into an idiot was clearly successful.

Colorado town, concerned about surveillance, considers drone hunting licenses – This might become more popular than Snipe Hunting.

Waitresses in body paint prompts Texas town to change clothing law – Waitresses filed a complaint against the town law requiring waitresses to cover their top in body paint.

Atheist group demands crosswalks be referred to as “pedestrian safety zones”- Maybe we should also refer to Easter as “more east!”

Oklahoma man arrested after woman spots him in toilet – Puts a new light on the term Peeping Tom.  Man is in deep shit for being in deep shit.

10 Things NOT to Say to a Person with MigrainesNumber 1 is “DO YOU MIND IF I OPEN THE BLINDS AND LET SOME SUNSHINE IN?”

Honda builds a 130 mph lawn mower – Oh great! I can hardly wait until my neighbor opens that puppy up at 7am on a Saturday!


Billions spent in Obama climate plan may be virtually useless, study suggests – I’m guessing this is one expert study that will be ignored.


Former President George HW Bush's son rescues woman boating in Maine – You have to wonder…whose SON is he now?

______________________________
Last week fake headline was:


New Jersey man jumps from plane without a chute and survives! - Man credits his life with the fact the plane had not yet taken off.


And the winners who correctly identified the fake  were:


Val said...

Okay, I'll take the New Jersey plane-jumping survivor as fake. I hope he celebrated with a dirty-water drink that he thought was actual alcohol.

Val is getting harder and harder to fool, plus because she dissed NJ,  please do not encourage her by visiting her blog @

http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/ she is funny, but for dissing NJ she must be punished so do not visit this site






I am going with the New Jersey man jumps from the plane as the fake. But the President Obama with the broccoli is tempting to pick. But Bush one said he did not like it so I can see President Obama saying it.

Congratulations Dan; people please visit Dan’s site for interesting photos, used book sales and good old North Carolina insight @


 

I am pleased to report that this week Fran (Fishducky) was finally stumped so there is no need for me to promote her always entertaining site @ http://fishducky.blogspot.com/

7 comments:

  1. "Able-bodied woman wants surgery to make her paraplegic "

    Anything for that coveted handicap parking space, right?

    I think the toy poodle story is fake. No self respecting ferret I know would EVER get a haircut like that.

    S

    ReplyDelete
  2. 'torn rotator cuff' bwahahahaha...

    well, i'm gonna go with toy poodles. but the atheist group is a very close second. (at least i hope so...) sheesh! worry about something important, people! like ferrets impersonating poodles!

    ReplyDelete
  3. So many weird ones this week, it's hard to guess. Is it "Atheist group demands crosswalks be referred to as “pedestrian safety zones”"?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Not a clue.....but then I find nearly everything in the world totally baffling these days. I am still recovering from my caregiver presenting me with my newly rewritten (printed larger and blacker) personal phone book which she copied from my old one which I can no longer read. It took a few minutes of perplexity before I realized that the reason I could not find anyone was because she had rearranged all the entries alphabetically by First Name...... sigh.
    I still love ya, Joe.

    ReplyDelete
  5. 10 Things NOT to Say to a Person with Migraines – Number 1 is “DO YOU MIND IF I OPEN THE BLINDS AND LET SOME SUNSHINE IN?”

    I pick this one, even though I have no expectation, or track record, of winning.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well, like the human-powered helicopter's rotator cuff...I am torn. Torn between Ferrets on Steroids, and the High-Speed Honda Lawnmower.

    I used to have a miniature poodle, so I know they can be rambunctious. However, around these parts, the terminology is "Ferrets on crack."

    Does Honda make lawnmowers? Does Honda make ANYTHING high-speed? I don't see the market for it, unless it's designed for lawnmower racers, who I imagine to be all "Buy American."

    FINAL ANSWER: I'm going with the Honda 130 mph Lawnmower as fake. I will reserve my NJ disses for later weeks.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think I will go with the Danish woman runs 366 marathons in 365 days. That seems like a lot of running for one person.

    ReplyDelete

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