NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

BASEBALL HAT INSTRUCTIONS


BASEBALL HAT INSTRUCTIONS
 

This is a pressing issue that needs to be addressed: Baseball hat wearing.

Our children today do not know how to wear a baseball cap.  There are only two acceptable positions in which to wear a baseball-style hat.

1.    Brim straight ahead to protect the eyes from the sun.



2.    Brim directly behind to keep the wind from blowing the hat off your head.



A slight shift from brim facing straight ahead is acceptable in some situations based on the angle of the sun, but these variations should only be for the short term.

Dude...you look like an idiot!
So...you want to look stupid, right?
 
 
Umm...don't call us, we'll call you.
Turn it around...TURN IT AROUND!!
                                

     



Here are some other rules:

If your hat fits over your ears it is too big.

I won't tell him, but...he looks stupid.


Brims should not be flat.  They should have a curve to them…they just should.

This look just screams PUSSY!


Tags or stickers should be removed after purchase.  Even if you stole it...take the tag off.
 
 
 
To summarize, there is a right and a wrong way to wear a baseball hat:

 
Example of the perfect way to wear a baseball hat.
 

15 comments:

  1. Excellent! I was at the mall yesterday and was astounded by the guys I saw who were wearing a wrinkled up old undershirt, baggy shorts about to fall off their ass, untied sneakers, a ball cap about 3 sizes too big (covering their ears as you pointed out)....accompanying a very well dressed, drop-dead gorgeous woman. DOH!

    Hell, maybe I've been trying too hard.

    S

    ReplyDelete
  2. I remember when the only folks wearing ball caps were ballplayers and farmers.
    That was because they got them for free.

    ReplyDelete
  3. hat fail was too funny! so was bieber dipsh*t.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ain't that the truth?

    I saw a picture the other day of a guy sitting in the bleachers on a hot sunny day with his baseball cap on backwards, holding a styrofoam container up to shield his face from the glare. I dunno. Maybe he forgot he was wearing a hat?

    Now, can you teach these guys about how to wear a pair of pants?

    ReplyDelete
  5. You had me at David Beckham... I'm sorry,what was the rest of this post about ?? :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I totally agree that a flat-brimmed, sideways, too-big hat makes the wearer look like a asinine duffus.

    Still, our parents thought the Beatles had horribly long hair and were slovenly (at least until someone dressed them up in Eaton Jackets). Before that there were the greasy-haired delinquents of the fifties--and so on and so on and scooby dooby do.

    ReplyDelete
  7. No matter what direction the brim faces, it adequately covers up a bald spot!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks so much for this highly educational post, even though your advice doesn't work. I've been practicing wearing my baseball hat and I don't look half as good as the model you've posted showing the correct way to wear a hat. Maybe it's just me....

    ReplyDelete
  9. You left out the one that annoys me most. A doofus on CMT's Redneck Island show sets his hat on top of his head like his head is a shelf. There's no WEARING to it. You might as well set it on a horse's ass. Which he is, actually, because no self-respecting redneck would dare wear a hat that way. Or call himself "Jo" instead of spelling it the right way. I want to reach through the TV and knock it off. Maybe I just need to re-assess my TV viewing habits.

    https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/p480x480/1002117_374595582663767_118605153_n.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  10. Had to come around and see who had the guts to recommend "The Story of Leviticus" on Hilary's blog. Haha! Nice job!

    ReplyDelete
  11. And you skipped right over wearing it indoors, at a meal or during the national anthem, irrespective of the hat's alignment.

    ReplyDelete
  12. haahaa... the ones who wear them backward and shield their eyes... I mean?

    and Val's comment ...sets his hat on top of his head like his head is a shelf. There's no WEARING to it. You might as well set it on a horse's ass."

    Hahaaaa his head a shelf... that's funnnnyyy

    ReplyDelete
  13. I wish I had a baseball cap the past few days! I was on the beach and OHHH MY SCALP IS BURNT. It hurts so bad. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  14. As someone who wears a ball cap more days than he doesn't, I concur wholeheartedly with everything you've said here.

    Especially the last photo.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Why do I suddenly have the urge to be a Red Sox fan??? Darn subliminal advertising!!!

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!