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Sunday, May 12, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 051213


STUPID HEADLINES 051213

It is time once again for:

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
That is one possability!
 
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments

 This week two headlines are completely made up…name the fakes and win a mention.

Unlikely New York scribe handwrites Bible in 4 years – New Yorker is arrested for plagiarism!

Russian military again flies strategic bombers near Alaska – Planes turn back after Sarah Palin fires warning shotgun blast.

Munger: It's time to break up the banks – Banks: Who the frig is Munger?

William Ayers says Weather Underground, Boston bombings not same – The Weather Underground in an attempt to murder innocent people to protest the Viet Nam War killed three of their own members.  I cannot top this quote by one of the intended victims, “The only difference between Bill Ayers and the Tsarnaev brothers is that [Ayers] was incompetent, apparently.”


Vegan students at Calif. high school accused of bullying agriculture students – Isn’t it always the vegans who are the bullies! Well, the flute players in band can also be pretty vicious.


California mother forced to pay spousal support to man who raped daughter – Ex-husband raped the child for 16 years and only did one year in prison after a plea bargain.  He now is suing for alimony.   Excuse me while I throw up…be back in about 15 minutes!


Mars probe finds can of coke zero – Clean up is estimated to cost 23 billion dollars.

Your heart attack bill: $3,300 in Arkansas, $92,000 in California – Survival rate from a heart attack: 5% in Arkansas, 75% is California.

Sen. Rob Portman Says, 'Yes,' He Smoked Pot – If not-smoking pot was a requirement for public office, we would have nothing but liars in charge of our government!  Oh yeah…don’t even say it Scott P.

Calif.  Teen suspended for calling “Weak hitter, bring it in!” during Gym Softball game – Apparently strategy is now bullying!

Air Force strips 17 officers of power to launch intercontinental nuclear missiles - Government’s sequestration inhibits our ability to accidently annihilate Planet Earth.

Blacks outvote whites in 2012, the first time on record - Whites are demanding voting levers be dropped to shoulder level eliminating the need to jump

Florida restaurant sells lion meat tacos – Discovery channel renames its popular crab fishing show to “Second Deadliest Catch.”

Irish Baby Names 10 Best Girls and Boys Irish Baby Names – Who is this Irish baby? Number 1 on the list…“Waa O‘Gaga.”

Smoke forces evacuation of White House press room – President Obama apologizes for the inconvenience, “Oops, sorry Dudes, one more drag and I’ll be right with you.”

 
HAPPY MOTHER’s DAY ALL YOU MOMS AND MUMS!!

8 comments:

  1. "Oh yeah…don’t even say it Scott P."

    But...but...you're killin' me here! It's like a hanging curve ball. In slow motion even. DOH!

    S

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  2. i'm guessing coke zero and vegan students are the fakes. i wish some of the others were...

    lord help us all...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think ithey're the bible & the Mars probe.

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  4. I suspect the Mars probe isn't real. Happy Mother's Day to your Mrs. C.

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  5. I want the one about alimony for the ex-scum in California to be a fake, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's true. What it wrong with this world? How does that even become a possibility?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm going with Vegan Bullies and Blacks Outvote Whites as fake. What is there, some roving gang of vegans wreaking havoc in that school? And I don't remember checking a race box on my ballot.

    The Mars probe could have found a soda stowed away by an irresponsible techie, which could ruin that expensive mission.

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  7. Once again I dunno, though I am suspicious of the Mars coke can.

    I both loved and hated these......what is happening to this world of ours? Sob.

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  8. I believe all of these are correct.

    :-)

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete

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