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Thursday, May 23, 2013

I Wrestled In High School...Part II: The Chest


I Wrestled In High School, But I was Not A Wrestler
 


When we last left the Young High School Cranky, he was preparing to wrestle a 225 pound human chest.  Emaciated from losing seven pounds in one day, young Cranky was waiting to get his ass beat.

If you missed part I, find it here:

http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2013/05/i-wrestled-in-high-school-but-i-was-not.html

Part II: The Chest


 
By the time my match was to begin, the varsity had finished with a win.  They all gathered around the mat to watch me be destroyed by “The Chest.”

In the first period, I stayed away from “The Chest” and the second period started 0-0.  “The Chest” was huge, but he was slow and not very skilled.  In the second period I scored a point with an escape, and stalled as best I could the rest of the period…1-0.

In the third period my man escaped and tied the score 1-1.  Then with less than a minute in the match I managed a takedown for 2 points and took the lead 3-1.  In a desperate attempt to escape, “The Chest” made a beginners mistake and raised his inside arm.  I leveraged his arm and had him almost on his back for a near pin making the score 5-1.  With 20 seconds left, I could have stood up, giving “The Chest” one point and then stayed away until the horn blew giving me a huge upset win as everyone in the gym had expected me to be easily defeated.

Instead of standing up and taking the virtually guaranteed win, I tried for a pin.  I had “The Chest” three quarters of the way on his back.  The entire Varsity and Junior Varsity teams were chanting, “PIN, PIN, PIN!” I reacted to the chant by pressing further and further for the pin.  As I attempted to force “The Chest” to his back, I slipped more and more over his giant thorax until my weight was suddenly too far over the mid-point of his body.  With 8 seconds left in the match, “The Chest” simply rolled over and dragged my unbalanced body onto my back.  The referees hand came down with a slap a second before the horn went off.  I lost a sure win by getting greedy.  I lost by a pin.

In three seconds I went from having my back slapped by my teammates for a great upset victory, to having my back slap on the mat for a loss.

Ten minutes later, weak from famine, exhausted from the match and dejected from the last second loss, I hit the shower.  My head under the cold spray of water trying to cool off, “The Chest” came over hand extended and offered me congratulations, “Hey, great match, for a while there I almost thought I was going to lose!”

“Thought you were going to lose!  Thought!!  Are you kidding me!  You were beat, all I had to do was stand up and the match was over.  You lost except I got greedy and your only freaking move the whole fight was to roll over on that gigantic chest of yours!”

Actually I didn’t say that at all, I just shook his hand and said, “Thanks, good match.”

By the time I got home, I was over the lost match that I should have won.  It would have taken days for a wrestler to get over such a loss.

I wrestled, I was never a wrestler.   

10 comments:

  1. So Marlon Brando got that line from you? "I coulda been a contendah!"

    At least you got a great story out of it. ;)

    S

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  2. I have always been a wrestler. I wrestle with my thoughts daily...

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  3. "The chest" sounds like a nickname for many a female class mate as well.

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  4. greed... we all do stupid stuff.

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  5. It sounds like you had delusions of grandeur--I mean adequacy!!

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  6. You gave it your best and both of you got a good story out of it. Win-Win.

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  7. Fortunate you were not a wrestler. Thinking about the jocks I graduated high school with back in 1961, they weren't obsessed with their sports. You know what they thought about 24/7. I can't believe it's a whole lot different in high school these days, but after that--college and scholarships--the road to bad choices seems broad.

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  8. Great conclusion, much better than had you won.

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  9. And yet, with your comment to The Chest, you ended up the bigger man.

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