I Don’t Care That You Don’t Get It!
So I’m sitting in bed watching “The Anderson Cooper Show,” because I’m retired and I can, and the topic comes up that Tiger Woods is dating an Olympian Skier. Interesting enough topic,…fair game considering Tiger’s Past, when out of the blue Anderson announces, “I don’t get golf!”
Somehow this grated my cheese.
I guess because I am a golfer and for some reason people love to make fun of golf and golfers. Golf is to sports as podiatry is to medicine. But why does the game make you angry, Anderson? Why are the same old golf put downs fair game?
“I don’t get golf. It just seems so silly chasing a little white ball all over a field only to try and put it in a little hole. Whacking a little ball with a stick…what is the point? I just don’t get it!”
Of course Anderson gets big laughs from his very sophisticated high- brow audience.
Gee Anderson, I would think you of all people would be more understanding and sympathetic to an oft downtrodden persuasion. Well I am proud to come out and admit I am a golfer, not a good one, but a golfer nonetheless. And, Anderson, I don’t understand your thing.
I don’t understand men liking men. But do I make fun of your thing. No; I just say my choice is women. I do not make judgments on your choice. I don’t make chasing-ball-little-stick-hole-jokes about your passion. I don’t say I don’t understand it as if it is something stupid or wrong. What I do understand is you like men. It is not a big deal and it is not complicated. It is not something I like or dislike; it is just not my choice. If asked I would simply just say, “I’m not gay.” Why can’t you and others simply say, “I don’t play golf?”
Leave golfers alone, Anderson, unless you want to be boycotted by our new organization GLAAD (Golfers Loath All Angry Dudes.)
Oh, the above is intended as satire. If it upsets your sensibilities, then it might be bad satire. If that is the case then I apologize for bad satire.