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Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Why Do Women Wear Torture Outfits?


Why Do Women Wear Torture Outfits?
 
 

Whenever I buy clothes, the first thing is they have to be comfortable.  I want a little extra in the waist so I can eat a large meal and not feel stuffed.  If shoes pinch my feet or rub my heel I will not buy them.  I want a collar that allows me to breathe, and a shirt that allows me to move.  I throw away socks that slip and my shorts have to have some control but cannot bunch up or bind.  I want to wear clothes that look nice, but comfort always trumps style.

It seems to me that this edict is completely turned around for women.  Women are all about style, all about “The Look.”  Comfort is secondary to women.  Women have to endure the pain and discomfort of their biological cycle.  Women have to suffer through nine months of carrying a child and hours of intense pain in delivering that child.  I guess compared to their biological functions the pain of dressing up is a piece of cake.  To me their outfits are instruments of torture.

How do they walk, never mind dance, or run for a bus, in six inch high heels with two inch platform toes? As if walking in these things is not tough enough, a woman will squeeze a size 7 foot into a size 6 shoe so as to convey daintiness.  

Are your Jeans a little tight?  No problem, wiggle them on up, flop on the bed, deep inhale, suck in that stomach, zip and exhale.  There, isn’t that comfortable?    

If a woman wants cleavage, the hell with comfort, just get a bra that will squeeze those puppies in and push those puppies up.  Comfort?  Who cares?

When it is below freezing, what is more important, staying warm or showing off those legs?  Women will freeze and show the legs.
 

I have to admit, as a guy I like to see a woman suffering for her sexuality.  So go ahead, squeeze those toes into those tiny shoes and practice your walking balance act.  Walking in those things makes your backside move just right, so make sure your skirt holds your stomach in and is tight enough to show that backside off.  Goop on the face, boobs pushed out and up, show it all off ladies.

There is nothing as sexy as a woman suffering with a smile, just to look good.

20 comments:

  1. ha ha. i gave all that up (and i didn't do much of it in the first place) long ago. :)

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  2. I know - the things we do to please you guys is just horrendous...... But yeah I get your argument . Juice post.

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  3. You know you answered your own question with your very last sentence, right?

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  4. Is it still sexy if we wear those shoes & fall over?

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  5. Haha, guilty of doing most of that at some time or another (but probably not all at the same time).

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  6. You fellas never get too old to appreciate. Do you notice the women get younger and younger, and are not smiling at old men?

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  7. I will no longer be uncomfortable.

    But it's amazing how much of it I DO find comfortable. Still wear heels, still wear full make-up, still do my hair and wear jewelry.

    I don't mind appreciative looks. :-)

    Pearl

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  8. Yeah, some women go to all that extra work to strut their stuff, then get offended when a man looks at them. Go figure. These days, I like comfortable, but I can easily get all gussied up if I feel like it.

    I love how men observe this trait in women and fine it amusing!

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  9. I can't wear those shoes, I'm almost exclusively a flip flopper. Speaking of flopping, I've done my share of flopping on the bed to get the jeans on. Love this post.. made me laugh so hard the puppies almost fell out of their contraption!!
    -Ellen

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  10. And besides the discomfort, do you have any idea how much TIME women spend to look like that?

    In nice weather K and I will go to restaurant/club row nearby and just people-watch. I'm amazed at the number of drop-dead-gorgeous women who have obviously been primping for hours to look good, are with a guy in dirty jeans and a t-shirt. I swear, 15 minutes ago I think he was under his car changing the oil. Seems like they could meet each other half way. :)

    S

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  11. Guilty...but I have relaxed a bit since my little one was born can you imagine running after a toddler in 4 inch heels.....

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  12. I'd make a terrible woman for a variety of reasons, but a big one is that I'm too lazy to spend time making myself look good.

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  13. I gave up suffering for fashion a long time ago, back when I realised I didn't have any fashion sense anyway, so why bother. Now days if I wore a pair of heels I'd probably end up with a sprained ankle rather than shapely calves.

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  14. I have a missing gene (or chromosome?) when it comes to fashion. If it were acceptable, I'd have seven identical outfits in my closet: pull-on pants and pull-over shirts, you know, like they wore on Star Trek.

    I can't stand anything that isn't totally utilitarian... ruffles drive me crazy and headbands or scarves or necklaces give me headaches.

    But I'm comfortable...:-)

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  15. I still maintain a person is beautiful if her heart is beautiful ...all the other stuff is fluff. I believe it.

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  16. You silly. You answered your own question.

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  17. Hubby misses that I stopped doing all of that when I had our daughter.

    There simply isn't the time to spend on all of that anymore - and OMGOSH! Sneakers! Amazing things. SO comfy. I used to spend hours with my aching feet in footspas after work.

    I love sneakers!

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  18. Most women think they have to do all that stuff to "look good". Are never satisfied with how they look, and need constant reassurance, even if it comes in the form of a wolf whistle from some man they'll never meet. Even young women... teenagers, even... get cosmetic surgery to "look better."

    Nowadays, I put comfort first. I figure, at my age, I've earned that right by now. After all, my hubby has ALWAYS done it...

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  19. Ah...reminds me of the good ol' days when a compliment from a man was not interpreted as sexual harassment.

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  20. When I was much younger (um...line 9 kids ago) I went to Vegas with a good friend of mine. I brought with me these black strappy high heel shoes to wear out to the dance clubs. They were THE cutest shoes EVER. Seriously. They were SO dang cute that when I saw them, I HAD to have them. What??? they didn't have my size 10? How about a 9? What?? No size 9's either? Damn! Okay, an 8 and a half, then? NO?? All you have is a size 8? Whatever, I'll take them! So I put my feet in those things that were two sizes too small for me, and my girl friend laughed, thinking I had lost my mind. Well let me tell you, never did I get so many compliments on a pair of shoes before in my life. I mean, in the taxi ride to the club, the driver said, 'Hey, nice shoes!" Since when does the driver of a taxi cab ever notice what shoes you are wearing? I was sitting in the back! Then at the club, never mind the men, but even women were complimenting my shoes. I mean, all night long...IT'S THE SHOES!! I danced all night in those things. And even though afterwards I couldn't feel my toes for 3 days and to this day I walk with a slight limp because of them, I still say it was worth it!!!

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