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Sunday, February 24, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 022413


STUPID HEADLINES 022413

It is time once again for:

 

 STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
 
4 out of 5 Seismologists agree

 With Cranky’s stupider, sophomoric, and sometimes offensive comments

 Obama plays round of golf with Tiger Woods, media air frustration over access – The media needs to understand that some people are very important and they need and deserve some privacy.  It is about time that Tiger was left alone.

Brothers blow up house while celebrating lottery win with drugs – no comment necessary.

New Hampshire lawmakers to vote on free ski passes for themselves – This will be a close vote…close to 100% in favor!

Subatomic calculations indicate finite lifespan for universeAnd you were worried about “Climate Change.”

Chicago woman charged after police say she bit off boyfriend’s tongue – No comment could top the boyfriend’s real statement after this lover’s quarrel,

“The whole thing makes me kind of sad.  In one day I lost half a tongue and my girlfriend."

With half a tongue that may be his last girlfriend.

Texas woman arrested after calling 911 for cigarettes – If you think this is ridiculous; you have never been a drunken smoker.  Next time this lady gets snockered and runs out of smokes she’s going to drive to the 711 and kill someone…I say just bring her the smokes and leave her alone.

New York mom charged after allegedly hiring strippers for 16-year-old’s birthday – I heart New York!

Virginia DMV says Iraq war veteran's vanity license plate encourages violence – ICUHAJI offensive to some Muslims…How about RMBR911?

Worker at stress ball factory punches boss, brandishes knives – OK, just count to ten, put down the knife, grab a ball and squeeze.

Rush Limbaugh Says He's Ashamed of the United States – United States is not that proud of Rush Limbaugh.  (I’m a conservative and I think he is a bloated egotistical ass!...sometimes.)
 
 
It's not my fault, it was a slow Stupid News Week!

12 comments:

  1. as always, your thoughts are spot on.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "New York mom charged after allegedly hiring strippers for 16-year-old’s birthday"

    "But Your Honor, grandma and Cousin Divine were working that day and it was the only way they would be able to come to the party."

    S

    ReplyDelete
  3. Brothers blow up house while celebrating lottery win with drugs - OM friggin God *shacking my head in amazement*

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why are some of the best ones in teensy type?
    Remember your half blind followers.

    I Luv yourStupid Headlines.

    ReplyDelete
  5. i read the rush headline the other day and said exactly that - well, rush, welcome to the party. we've been ashamed of you for years!

    ReplyDelete
  6. "With half a tongue that may be his last girlfriend"... wonderful powers of observation, Cranky!!:-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Well, I certainly hope that New York mom didn't serve sodas bigger than 16 ounces. That would REALLY be a crime!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I keep thinkin' I want to comment on your Stupid Headline posts

    Then eventually I manage to resist...

    ...until now

    ReplyDelete
  9. I must say that guy talks pretty well for only having half a tongue.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "Brothers blow up house while celebrating lottery win with drugs"

    I hope their win was enough to buy them a new house ... with a little left over to post bail.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm shaking with laughter. OMG! It's an earthquake!

    ReplyDelete

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