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Thursday, February 21, 2013

CRANKY ON THE TONIGHT SHOW


“CRANKY ON THE TONIGHT SHOW”
 
Cranky Old Man was recently on “The Tonight Show” to shill for his new self-published book, “I Used to be Stupid.”  You may have missed it because it was preempted by some silly news about the Pope.  I do have the following transcript:

“Next up ladies and gentlemen, heh heh heh, we have a crotchety old fart trying to promote his new book, welcome everyone, the Cranky Old Man!”

Clap.

“Hello Jay, do I sit right here?”

“You may as well stand; you won’t be here that long.  Heh heh heh.  I’m just kidding, sit right down.   So, you have a new book?  Who knew you had an old book?

“Yeah Jay, my first book, ‘Maybe It’s Just Me’ was very well received by 17 people, so I decided to try another, “I Used to be Stupid.’”

“I’m sure you were.  What is the title of your new book?”

“I Used to be Stupid.”

“Well, yes, I used to be funny, but what is the title of your new book?”

“I Used to be Stupid.”

“I don’t know…third base.  What…is…the…title…of…your…new…book?”

“‘I Used to be Stupid,’ the new book is titled ‘I Used to be Stupid.’”

“Oh…Heh heh and what is this Stupid book about?”

“It is about how I used to be stupid.   You know Jay; don’t you look back on different stages of your life and think dang I used to be stupid, only to realize that 10 years later you look back and realize you were still stupid?  No one thinks they are currently stupid or else they would not be doing stupid things.  It is only in retrospect that you realize…you know…you used to be stupid.  This book is all the stories and thoughts in my life when I used to be stupid.”

“And are you still stupid?”

“Right now?”

“Yeah…heh heh heh…are you still stupid?”

“Oh no Jay, I used to be stupid, now I am finally smart.”

“Eh…heh heh heh how about years from now will you still be smart?”

“Well, years from now I will be smart but looking back to today where I believe I am smart I will probably realize that once again “I Used to be Stupid.”

“Wha, wha, WHAT?  Look, now I’m feeling stupid and we are running out of time.  We have Coco the dancing dog in the green room so we have to wrap this up.  Where can we find this stupid book?”

“Jay, you can find it on-line at RoseDog Books http://rosedogbooks-store.stores.yahoo.net/iustobest.html

Or


“OK thank you very much, Cranky Old Man, glad you are no longer stupid though I guess heh heh heh, you will realize years from now that you were in fact stupid…or something. 

Buy the stupid book everybody.  Oops, were all out of time.  Hopefully Coco will be back another another night… 

Good night!”

 

I know; I have no shame!

Look to the side bar for two sample stories.  

20 comments:

  1. Love this! Not unlike some of the other interviews I've seen on his show! :-) I think I'm going to have to check out this book. Is it going to be available in Kindle format at some point?

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  2. 1. Yes, absolutely shameless. 2. Sample? Maybe a chapter available online somewhere to read? Kinda, pull us in?

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  3. This is the best online book promotion I've come across. I hope your new book sells many more than 17 copies.

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  4. Okay... it took a minute or so... I found the excerpts from the book.

    Then I decided not to read them.

    I'm gonna buy the book instead...
    ...and the other one, if I can remember their titles after I leave here.

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  5. To all your readers:

    It's a funny book, people--read it!!

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  6. Great promotion Joe - think I'm going to have to buy it :)

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  7. Smooth! You could have made a fortune selling CDO's a few years ago. I think you missed your calling. ;)

    S

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  8. Congrats on the book - from someone who also used to be stupid. I'm alarmed you're infering I'm not smart yet...

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  9. Can I read it if I'm stupid right now? Because I don't know how long it might have to sit on my kitchen counter waiting for me to become not-stupid.

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  10. Congrats on a second book from someone who is *still* stupid!
    Cheers, Amanda

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  11. Joe

    As I am one of the 17 who bought the first book - you know I am going to buy the new one too!

    In fact, I just did!
    Amazon said there were only 2 left in stock - so now there must only be 1...Way top go Joe

    Lou :-)

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  12. As soon as my tax refund comes in.. I'm buying that sucker! :)

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  13. LOL! You watch, it's going to be a best seller then you'll have all the TV show interviewers knocking down your door. What're you going to do then, huh?

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  14. Love it! I am sure I'm stupid now - does that make me smart for realising it?!

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  15. Congrats - how great is that!! I'm still stupid - it has it's advantages :) Emily

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  16. Being of the unemployed variety at the moment, I'll be buying Crank's book at a later date. But, I will be buying it - someday. I bought his first book and it was a riot.

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  17. Good luck with the new book! Kirsty @ My Home Truths

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  18. This post made me think of comedian Bill Hicks and his Leno piece. Good luck with your book!

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  19. Hahaha. Very funny. Thanks for the laugh. Hope the book sells!

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  20. LOL! You do shameless promotion so well! Thanks for Rewinding.

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