THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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not go to jail for theft of service or to have to pay $150 plus penalties, I
rushed to undo my multiple hook-ups by Tuesday…four days away.
all my splitters, pulled all the now worthless cable wire and patched up all
the holes leading to my extra TVs.Paranoid about the cable cop’s inspection I even removed my extra TVs
and stored them in my attic…in the back…covered with blankets.
came I was determined to not allow access in my home past the primary TV.If they wanted to find proof of my TV
transgression, they would have to get a search warrant.I doubted any judge would believe that
airplane-interference crap and issue a search warrant.Still I worried.I worried on Saturday, Sunday and
Monday.On Tuesday I took a personal day
from work so I could make sure the cable gurus did not find any evidence of my
illegal multiple hook-ups.
and I waited for the cable detectives to come.They were due between 10 and 4.I
sweated from 10 to 3:30 when a cable truck pulled up.I waited inside for 20 minutes before the
cable guy finally rang the bell.
I’m from the cable company, sorry we came so late…I think we found the signal
leak we mentioned to you last Friday.”
do any digging in the back in the last year?”
did put in a walk way…had to do some digging to put in the edging…”
did it.We found a nick in the cable
right by the walk.We fixed it and your
signal should be just fine now.You were
probably having issues with channels 2 and 4 right?”
“Well no,” I
lied, “But thanks.”
surprised you didn’t have any reception problem, but at least were sure there
won’t be any interference to airplane instruments that pass overhead.”
really a problem?”
generally, but yes, it does happen.You have
a good day now.”
guy did not even come into my house.They detected a signal leak outside with some kind of instrument and repaired
the leak in 20 minutes.
I checked my
TV and sure enough, channel 2 and 4 now came in as crystal clear as the other
38 channels.Two and four were also
available on my other 3 sets along with channels 5, 7, 9, 11 and 13…plus a few
UHF stations.They were a bit fuzzy
unless you got the rabbit-ear antennae just right.
I was not
about to re-wire my other sets to cable.Not only was I still afraid of being caught, but I sure did not want to
be responsible for an airline accident.