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Monday, November 26, 2012

WHY MEN HOLD THE REMOTE – A Cranky re-run


WHY MEN HOLD THE REMOTE – A Cranky re-run
 
 
Some people may find this to be a chauvinistic post.  It is not.  It would be chauvinistic if the conclusions were based on women’s inferiority.  The conclusion of this post is based not on innate ability, but on basic gender differences deep in the DNA of our species.

There are several reasons why men control the remote. 

Historically, from the days of the first 8” screen TV’s, man has handled the channel searching duties.  Women did not get up to manually turn the dial; it was the man’s job.  With the advent of the remote control it was only natural that man continued the channel changing function.

Genetically, man is wired to be the hunter gatherer, women are the nurturers.  Channel surfing is a hunter gathering function.  Men know when to pause over a show and then move on to something better.  Men will skip a commercial, surf on, and know just when to return.  Men know the territory.  They skip over normally unproductive stations and go right to the primary hunting grounds.  Men know their tool.  They utilize the “PREVIOUS” button, and all search functions.

Women, being nurturers, linger on stations.  They want to give every show a chance; they hate to say no by hitting that channel-up arrow.  Women do not skip commercials, they are mesmerized by them.  Women are unfamiliar with the territory.  They will waste precious time on “Lifetime” when there might be an Ultimate Cage fighting match on the next channel.  Women do not utilize the “PREVIOUS” button, and they prefer to watch at least a small snippet of every channel before moving on.  When a woman finally settles on a show, it is over.

Women are not committed to the TV.  When a man watches TV, he concentrates on TV.  Women multitask while watching.  Women can read and follow a show.  Women can watch while working on the laptop.  Women can enjoy a TV show while also timing a roast in the oven, or a meal on the stove. 

Operating the remote requires total concentration.  Thought wavering to a different task can result in a missed opportunity for a better show.  Without total concentration, a commercial linger may miss a home run or a blocked punt on a different channel.

Women can multi-task, but men can multi-view.  Men can follow multiple shows, particularly sports while women can sometimes become confused.  A quick flip from the Giants game to the Packers and women want to know why the players changed uniforms.  A quick surf from “Two and a half Men” to “Seinfeld” takes several minutes of explaining to a woman.

If man gives up the remote, instead of watching a sitcom, an old movie and a football game in any one hour, he is subjected to “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Dancing with the Stars.”

If man is to maintain any dignity at all in his home, he must continue to control the remote!  

14 comments:

  1. "Men know their tool."

    Yes. Yes, they do. . .

    But what's that got to do with the TV remote?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Craig...stop looking for the previous button...not that tool!

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  3. So true! But the modern remote control is still a young mans's tool, Cranky. For example, I (speaking for myself) can ony use about 15 of the little buttons, which leaves about 150 that I have no idea what they do. Unless you're a young, nerd male they're still pretty much foreign objects. Why not have a remote geared to pre-computer era guys?

    S

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  4. I agree with you on most new gadgets Scott, but come on all men are experts on the remote...ot are you turning in your man card?

    Pre computer remotes were called "Little Brothers"

    ReplyDelete
  5. Not yet, Joe. Like most guys, I subscribe to "If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit."

    S

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  6. I hate it when I stay at a hotel and only half the buttons work

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  7. Thought you might enjoy this snippet from one of my old posts:

    I was Christmas shopping one year & found the perfect T-shirt for Blake. It had a picture of a TV remote control on the front & said, “It’s a man thing!” I told the saleswoman I’d like one in an extra-large. She didn’t have any under the counter so she called across the busy store to a stock boy, “I need a ‘man thing’ in an extra-large!” The woman behind me in line said, “Don’t we all?” Cracked up the whole store!

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  8. that is probably why women are slowly taking over the world...the man are busy watching tv and hoarding remotes.

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  9. I guess this explains why I have no dignity in my home: Mrs. C. is in total control of the remote. I don't generally care what's on and she does, so I usually don't need to look any farther than her hand to find it.

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  10. And this is why women rule Pinterest and Feibu. BB2U

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  11. LOL - so very very true !!!
    Have the best day !
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is only one hole I'd like to point out in your logic. Men didn't get up to do the channel changing themselves. Speaking as a child of the 80's, which was pre-remote controls, men made their long suffering children get up and change them.

    ReplyDelete

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