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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Handwriting - A Cranky re-run


Handwriting

I thought my handwriting was awful.  Mrs. Cranky’s writing is even worse.  If it were not for computers and keyboards our only means of communication would be verbal.

Handwriting used to be really important.  Handwriting was a graded course from first through third grade.  We first learned printing and then moved on to script, or what we called longhand and is now called cursive.  Longhand was tough for me.  It was not until second grade that I was allowed to write between two lines instead of three.  This used to be a big deal.  The paper we used was yellow lined paper.  It had no margins, and was so cheap that there were tiny wood chunks of still unprocessed paper scattered throughout the writing surface.  Writing between only two lines reduced the chances of having to run your pencil point into a wood chunk.

I write left handed so I faced the problem of following my writing with my palm and smudging everything I wrote.  Fortunately my teacher showed me how to slant the paper so that I could write and avoid smudging.  It was not many years before I hit First grade that teachers would have tied my left hand behind my back and forced me to learn to write with my right hand.  Slanting the paper was a better solution.  I’m not sure, but I think John Wayne Gacy was forced to write with his right hand in this way (giyp).

Mrs. Cranky went to a Catholic school.  I do not know how she survived with her handwriting.  Catholic school was notorious for placing extraordinary importance on handwriting.  I think it was a holdover from the monks having to copy The Bible calligraphically.

Mrs. Cranky’s handwriting is so bad that I can hardly read her chicken scratch.  If I go grocery shopping with her list I have to question her before I leave.

“What is totly parpy?”

“Wait, let me see….TOILET PAPER!”

“What the hell is eng murphies?”

“That’s ENGLISH MUFFINS!.....jerk.”

“What is Tkr sauce?”

“TURKEY SAUSAGE”

Sometimes she is stumped by her own writing.

“Ok I give up, what is kprglibnk?”

“What?  Give me that……..shit, I don’t know….buy something that starts with a K…..and you’re still a jerk! 

12 comments:

  1. Did you know that many creative people are left handed? I am left handed, as was Leonardo da Vinci and Hitler. Nix that last one. I also have terrible penmanship.

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  2. Yes I remember learning to print first then onto the longhand, now I choose to print, it is much easier for me and more legible.

    Seeing Mrs Crankys grocery list looks like one of my wifes lists, we get a laugh out of this all the time, well I do anyway.

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  3. With writing like Mrs Cranky's you have every excuse never to go shopping for her. It will work for a while then she'll hand you the pad and make you write the list - or even worse tell you to go to the shop and she'll text you it.
    2 b mlk
    2 p sos
    doz lg eg
    pk bby wps
    ...

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  4. I'm both handed so my writing looks really weird. When I write with my left hand I tend to print everything, my right hand writing looks like your wife and I were in the same writing class :)

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  5. *giggles as she reads the shopping list* Thanks, I had totally forgotten to get kprglibnk this morning, you've reminded me.

    I'm ambidexterous. I can write neater than Hubby with either hand. ;-) I have still to master calligraphy with my left hand, however.

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  6. Everything I do naturally, like throw a ball, I do left handed. Everything I was taught, like writing & eating, I do right handed. I think I was meant to be left handed, as one of my sons is. I DO write legibly, though--but I'm very confused!

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  7. The first few words I write, the first few lines at the most, are very neat and readable. Then it begins to slide a bit. By the second paragraph it is barely recognizable as english. Like Ms C some of it is such garbage I can't even decypher my own handwriting.

    Glad to see you posting again. Did you have any problems at your home with the storm?

    S

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  8. i had forgotten how bad that beige paper with the wood chunks in it was! I used to teach and had excellent writing on the blackboard. Now, for some reason, my penmanship is much like your wife's.

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  9. I always had failing grades in penmanship. I love my keyboard. Your interpretation of your wife's shopping list reminded me of this old joke.

    A note written by her husband greeted a woman when she arrived home:
    Someone from the Gyna Colleges called. They said the Pabst beer is normal. I didn't know you liked beer!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I always start off writing neatly but the longer I write the worse it gets. A is left handed and sometimes it is just horrible trying to read what he has written - if we are ever together anywhere and he has to write something he gives it to me. A few people have looked at us a bit strangely and he says "Do you want to read it or not ? I can fill it in but you won't be able to read it - rather let her do it" - we laugh all the time !
    Have the best day - are you safe and sound ?
    Me

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  11. My mother was left-handed, but my grandmother tied her hand behind her back until she was right-handed. So odd!

    Hilary's joke was hilarious!

    Glad to see you online again. Hope there wasn't too much damage to your home or to those of your family.

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  12. My cursive is getting worse by the day. I blame computers ... and politicians (on principle).

    ReplyDelete

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