STUPID HEADLINES 092312
Here are this week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments:
Virgin births may be common in the wild – Or there are more toilet seats in the wild than previously thought.
Ohio death row inmate makes case that he's too obese for execution– Judge rules that the prisoner’s “last meal” be served three weeks before the execution.
Professor Made Students Sign ‘Vote for Obama’ Pledge – Romney is unconcerned, cites students’ record of cheating on tests.
School Bans Father-Daughter Dances – Dance discriminated against single mom’s daughter. Hmmm they should have canceled my Senior Prom cause all the girls turned me down. Isn’t that discrimination against creeps?
Blue Jays' Escobar suspended 3 games for homophobic slur on eye-black – How can eye-black be sensitive?
Man Arrested in HI Pleads Guilty to VP Threats – Hawaiian man who threatened to kill Joe Biden is charged with a misdemeanor. (Oh calm down, it’s just a joke… You liberals are so sensitive.)
Headless Roman statues found in ancient city – Relic was a likeness of ancient Roman cartoonist who specialized in caricatures of the Prophet Mohammed.
Zimbabwe city residents synchronize toilet flush – Country is in training for new 2016 Olympic event hoping for first gold medal.
Some local Dems to skip the first lady – Obama’s will do anything for a vote, but double dutching Michelle is over the top!Man charged with car thefts, car break-ins – Well yea, if he stole them he must have broken in!
Tunisia president's former aide gets suspended jail sentence – In Tunisia that’s what they call hanging you from your ankles in jail.