Stupid Headlines 091612
Time again for Cranky’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments
Dance studio offers kiddie pole dancing classes – Because it is never too early to train tomorrow’s whores.
Foul Smell Reported Across Southern California – He who smelt it dealt it.
Panetta hints at punishment for bin Laden book author – Apparently this Navy Seal American Hero gave a story of the Bin Laden raid which differed from the White House account. Clearly he must be punished!
Howard Stern calls Jay Leno a 'spineless maggot' – Come on Howard! This is just so wrong. Everyone knows that maggots don’t have spines.
Principal Sees Racism in Peanut Butter – Racists from all over the world travel to view the sacred racist peanut butter. Is the tap-dancing Mr. Peanut racist?
Naked German Monk Likely a Victim of Hallucinogenic Berries – Yeah, I tried that in ‘73…no one bought it then either.
ACLU sues Georgia in KKK litter program fight – State of Georgia is a little worried of the Clan’s definition of “Litter.”
New Jersey woman accused of hitting train conductor – As one who rode New Jersey Transit and endured these sanctimonious shitheads for forty years…THANK YOU!
FBI: 'Bucket List Bandit' caught in Oklahoma - How many years do you get for stealing a “Bucket List?”
White House Unveils Sequestration Plan – I think the President has more important things to worry about than horseback riding!
Hey don’t blame me if these are really weak, I don’t make the headlines!