NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

HEADLINES 070112

HEADLINES 070112


It’s Sunday, time for Cranky’s weekly headlines and my stupid sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.  If you don’t like them, blame Lo @ http://loisstearns.blogspot.com/ she encouraged me!

Postal Unit Cuts Hours to 30 Minutes Per Day – Next day delivery now takes 48 hours.

Plane tows swastika banner, startles NJ beachgoers Beachgoers were surprised thet “Swastika Banner Day” came so early this year.
Christian group backs away from ex-gay therapy “Backs away”……REALLY?

New Jersey man throws intestines at cops after repeatedly stabbing himself – Well he did have a lot of guts! (Sorry, it's the Tourettes)

Couple Tears Down $4.2 Million Manse for a Better View – It turns out it was cheaper to tear down the mansion then to build a new better view.

NJ Mayor Cory Booker Shows Up at Accident Scene… Again- Newark NJ mayor seems to always be around when help is needed.

Does Hallmark Card Bash Tea Party? – “Roses are red violets are blue, the Tea Party is RACIST and ANTI-SEMETIC…Happy Birthday to you!” You be the judge.

Houston strip clubs hit by new 'pole tax' to fund rape investigations – Wha wha wha WHAT??

"Monster" Colorado wildfire rages; Obama plans visit Cory Booker is already there beating the fire back with a shovel.  “Hey, I was just passing through.”  (It’s a New Jersey superhero thing.)

World awaits latest in hunt for Higgs particle Scientist’s search includes chant, “Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony please come around; something is lost and needs to be found.”

Stowaways possible in container ship docked in NJ Cory Booker thought he saw something with his ex-ray vision.  “Hey, I was just in the area.”

Eric Holder Prepares for Contempt Vote with Barbecue Republicans anxious to grill Holder.  AG Holder flashes giant “B” in the sky looking for help. (Sorry Eric, he’s in Colorado stamping out a real fire.)

Israel crowns 'Miss Holocaust Survivor'The requirements for this Pageant are really tough!
Earth adds leap second Saturday night – Well, this aught a make for a really wild Saturday night!  

Come back next Sunday for more Cranky Headlines of the week!

 

6 comments:

  1. "Israel crowns 'Miss Holocaust Survivor'" What was she...about 80? I'm guessing there was no swimsuit competition.

    S

    ReplyDelete
  2. the good little catholic schoolgirl thats buried deep inside guiltily giggled at the St Anthony line.

    ReplyDelete
  3. See, I learned the St. Anthony prayer as much less formal - "Tony, Tony hear my plea, bring my ____ back to me." I guess it's kind of more demanding, too. It's always worked, though!

    I love the pole-tax - that's just hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lara I love your rhyme going to share it with my sister.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for the plug and I am still laughing. Glad I encouraged you.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!