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Sunday, June 10, 2012

THE PINKY SPECIALIST

THE PINKY SPECIALIST


Sometimes I look back on my life and I think I never fulfilled my potential.  I was a low level manager at a brokerage firm for forty years.  What a waste.  I should have been a doctor.

I think I would have made a great doctor.  The only issue that probably would have held me back as a doctor is I have always been a little bit lazy.  Doctors have to work hard and they have to know a lot of stuff.

Sometimes I think maybe I could have been a podiatrist.  They only have to know about feet.  How hard could that be?  Feet?  They are really not that complicated.  But then…

There is hammer toe, bunions, flat feet, toe nail problems, arch problems; I would probably even have to know about ankles and stuff.  There are a lot of bones in feet and every one of them can cause problems and require different treatments.  

A podiatrist might have been a bit much for me.  Still, I think I would have made a great doctor.  Maybe I could have just narrowed down my practice.

If I had it to do over again, I would have become a doctor.  I would have been pinky specialist.   What are there; three bones and a nail?  I could have easily learned everything there is to know about the pinky.  You don’t put a broken pinky bone in a cast; you just wrap it with a popsicle stick and some duct tape.  A cut pinky hardly ever needs stiches; generally a band aide will do.  If as a doctor you screw up it is only a pinky.  People can do just fine without a pinky.  A pinky specialist does not have that much pressure.

It is too late for me to go back and start a new career.  It’s too bad.  I think I would have been a great Pinky Specialist.

Dr. Cranky “Pinkies R Us”

12 comments:

  1. Wouldn't you refer any nail problems to a dermatologist ...or one of the Korean girls at the nail salon?

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  2. It's never too late to follow your dreams. That's what they say at motivational seminars. Don't forget Billy Pilgrim: be careful what you wish for.

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  3. You make a very convincing argument. But still, gynecology sounds pretty good, too. ;)

    S

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  4. I'm lifting my pinkie right now in your honor. I don't even need my pinkie to type!

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  5. I am pinky swearing and can't stop. Please help me pinky specialist.

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. The comments are almost as funny as your post! :-) I like how you admit you are lazy. Lazies unite!

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  8. You can still become a back of the eye lid specialist. You just closes you eye to do the exam. The down side is you be your only patient. Maybe that is a good thing.

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  9. Sign me up for being a Pinky specialist as well!

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  10. Sign me up for being a Pinky specialist as well!

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  11. I'm looking at my Pinky right now and thinking, "Gee, you get neglected..."
    I think I could trust you to check it for me.

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  12. I'm not sure you have thought this one through. Imagine all the tea drinking related injuries you would have to deal with. I suppose you could always get a sponsorship deal with Twinnings...

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