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Saturday, June 23, 2012

I SHOULDN”T BE ALIVE - a cranky re-run

Another cranky re-run...hey i'm on vacation...well i'm retired so i'm on change of venue.
I SHOULDN”T BE ALIVE


There is a show on Animal Planet “I Shouldn’t be alive” where people get themselves in horrible situations, face death, and at the last minute manage to escape or be rescued.  In the fifties and sixties my friends and I did things which today it would seem a miracle that we made it to retirement.  Here are the things we did as kids for which:

I SHOULDN’T BE ALIVE

As an infant, my parents allowed me to sleep on my stomach.

Two kids and only one bike?  No problem; one kid would just ride on the handlebars.

I regularly ate peanut butter.  I even took PBJ sandwiches to school and killed no one!

I never used a seatbelt in a car before the age of 22.

I once crossed the road and only looked one way.

In the winter we bumper-hitched (grabbed a ride by skiing on your boots behind a car holding on to the bumper.)

I cut through old man McDermott’s back yard.

I rode bikes and skied without a wearing a helmet.

I sailed small boats and water-skied without wearing a life jacket.

I took salt tablets before football practice in 98 degree heat.

We played with BB guns.

I dove in the shallow end of a swimming pool.

I ran with scissors. 

The hill we used for Sledding in the winter was on a busy street.

I ate raw eggs.

I struck a match without closing the cover.

I Drumk and droved (hic).

I had unsafe sex….well I would have.

I ran barefoot all summer…Bees? I ain’t afraid of no stinkin bees!

I passed an 18 wheeler truck on the right.

I stood under a tree in a thunderstorm.

I Called Football Coach Khoury “Nemo” (Had to run laps until I dropped, but I did survive.)

I once went swimming 45 minutes after eating.

I once prepared raw chicken and did not wash my hands.

I squirted starter fluid over a lit brbq.


They should do that TV show on my life because clearly;

 I SHOULDN’T BE ALIVE!!

7 comments:

  1. This is hilarious! Yes, you could have died, and many others did. Our regulations, like seat belts, have saved a whole lot of lives, and that's why we put up with them.

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  2. Pretty much checked off every one on your list

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  3. But did you ever admit to your wife when she asked that she looked chubby in a dress? I doubt it since you're still alive.

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  4. Two kids on one bike - we always did that! Sometimes we'd even get three on one bike. We used to buy those little foot peds that go on the back wheel so that you could stand up while holding onto your buddy's shoulders as he drove the bike. Then one kid would sit on the handle bars. We'd cruise around like that, 3 kids on one bike, probably looking like a clown act at the circus. But, we too survived!

    Ah, good times. Good times!

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  5. Funny and wonderful.....I luv you, Cranky.

    I also used to eat raw hamburger out of the package on the way home from the Butcher Shop. Them were the days.

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  6. You're quite the adrenaline junkie, Cranky. ;)

    S

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  7. yep..but, I don't even want to talk about it....because i would never want my kids to think they would stay alive if they did the stuff I did. I stick with telling them the hardships, like no remotes, no cell phones..

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