SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES
I don’t like shopping. I don’t like grocery shopping. I don’t like shopping for appliances. I don’t like shopping for plants and gardening stuff.
I HATE shopping for clothes!
I need a new wardrobe. I retired several years ago and none of my suits fit anymore. I need casual and dress shoes; I even need new underwear and undershirts. I have about 75 ties. Mrs. Cranky hates them all. All of my ties were purchased for me by previous wives. Women hate any tie that they did not buy for their man. I need new ties.
Mrs. Cranky took me shopping today. She was in heaven. Mrs. Cranky loves to shop for clothes. She picked out three suits for me. I only wear a suit these days to weddings or funerals. There is a good chance that one of these suits may be worn for the first time at my funeral.
Mrs. C was in ecstasy mixing and matching ties and shirts to go with my new suits. She bonded Jos. A Banks salesman, Ron, matching colors. They were practically giddy over the process.
Ron did bail me out on one issue. Several weeks ago I purchased casual shoes by my big boy-self (I Know right!) I bought a pair of brown loafers to go with a new sports coat. Turns out they are really burgundy and Mrs. C said they did not go with the sports jacket. Ron convinced her that burgundy and brown can go together quite nicely.
The only thing I had to do in this process is try stuff on. I insisted my pant waist should be 38 inches. Ron, not wanting to embarrass me, whispered, “Dude 38 inches pulled out of the station a long time ago.” I found that I could breathe better at 40 inches so I gave in.
After 2 hours, my absolute shopping limit, we left the store with three suits, six shirts, six ties and a job offer for Mrs. Cranky.
RT – I love Microsoft spell check, but I insist I bought six ties, and it should not be sixties.It should be many years before I need to clothes shop again.