STUPID HEADLINES 0415

STUPID HEADLINES 0415

Time for this weeks Headlines and my stupid sophmoric sometimes offensive comments.

Cruise ship begins voyage to retrace Titanic's path – Hmmm…They might want to skip the iceberg part.

Boston University fraternity investigated after men found bound, covered in condiments – Pi alamode? (Sorry, it’s the Tourette’s)

Laid-up  Los Angeles fireman arrested after being caught MMA fighting – So what?  This is apples and oranges.  You can’t fight a fire with a double arm-bar choke hold.

Bride charged with faking cancer for lavish wedding – Because nothing says lavish wedding like stage 3 cancer!

U.S. Loses Battle to Make Public Internal U.N. Reports On Waste, Fraud and Abuse – Apparently making these reports public would be a waste.

Manson likely a no show for his parole hearing – In case he does show the Parole board must decide to respond to his request with  “No”, “Fuck No”, or “When hell freezes over and pigs fly then…FUCK NO!”

Police Car Shot Up in Trayvon Martin's Neighborhood – Zimmerman swears the police car was suspicious and threatening, and it had a HOOD.  A pack of skittles and a bottle of sprite on the front seat confirmed his concern.

Obama says Kanye West is ‘very talented’ but still a ‘jackass’ – Kanye says, “Uh, Yeah, Uh, yeah, uh, yeah, uh, yeah.”

Mexican Motorcyclists Face Terrorism Charges Thanks to Noisy Exhausts – OK we took care of noisy exhausts, time to go after the drug cartels and those dudes that behead people.
Iranian split seeps into nuclear policy ahead of negotiations with West – It’s not the split Iranians that concerns the West, it’s the split atoms.

Pakistan parliament approves proposals on US ties – Parliament rules against bow and clip-ons.

Newark Mayor Cory Booker Rescues Neighbor From Fire – No stupid comment here, this guy is a legitimate grade A STUD!