COUCH POTATO DAY
It is Valentine’s Day. On this day you are required to buy your lady chocolates, flowers and take her out to dinner. You are required to do this because someone decreed it and everyone seems to go along with it. I don’t know who decreed it, it just always has been. I don’t particularly like Valentine’s Day, but rules are rules.
I don’t like it that the price of chocolate is doubled on Valentine’s Day. I don’t like it that the price of flowers is doubled on Valentine’s Day. I don’t like it that you need reservations for dinner that is twice as expensive and half as good as on any other day. I hate Valentine’s Day.
I would like to decree my own special day; a day that I could really get into. Maybe this post will go viral and my wish will come into fruition.
OK then, here goes:From this time forward, I decree every June 31st to be “Couch Potato Day”. On Couch Potato Day you will not be allowed to leave the house. Breakfast on Couch Potato Day will be the traditional Mickey Dee’s Egg McMuffins purchased and frozen on the day before then micro waved on Couch Potato Day morning.
Children will fend for themselves on Couch Potato Day. If they run amuck, they will have to participate in “Severe Discipline Day” traditionally held the day after Couch Potato Day.
Lunch on Couch Potato Day should be pizza with sausage and mushrooms, delivered of course. Dinner is always Chinese, also delivered. Egg rolls and spare ribs are a required part of the order.
All three meals must be consumed in front of the TV. Potato chips, pretzels and cheese doodles should be available at all times during Couch Potato Day. Beer shall be in plentiful supply on Couch Potato Day.
It is quite possible that some women might not like Couch Potato Day. Women do not seem to like doing nothing (sleeping late is productive and does not count as doing nothing) and they certainly don’t like to see their man doing nothing.
Sorry ladies, we don’t like the Valentine’s Day chocolate, flowers and dinner stuff but we go along with it so….suck it up!
It’s Couch Potato Day!!