I pulled into the Quickie Lube bay and immediately the lube guy, an almost 22 year old Vo-tech grad with a “What?” tattooed on his neck, introduces himself. “My names Gil, how can I help you today?” I informed the lube guy I only wanted an oil change and a lube.
My Jeep was due for an oil change and lube. In the past I have taken it to the dealer, but my dealer went out of business. The nearest dealer is a bit out of the way, and since I only needed an oil change and a lube, I figured just one time I could go to the local Quickie Lube.
“Yes Sir. Do you need new wipers?”
“Just an oil change and a lube please.”
“We have a special on the four wheel transmission fluid change.”
"Just an oil change and a lube please.”
“OK, yes Sir. How about filters, hoses or belts?”
“Oil and lube please.”
"OK, suit yourself.”
I settled back as Gil and the unseen workers under the bay went through the check list of stuff.
“Belts…OK. Window washer fluid….OK. Franistan….OK. Pergafloid….full. Fremager…check. Oh O! Excuse me Sir, can I show you something?”“Sure.”
“Just come on over here. Look at this exhaust housing, see how dirty and even a bit wet it is; your fuel ophrenks need to be flumuxed and cleaned every 8000 miles. If your jets get clogged it will cost you power and gas mileage.”
I see; it’s an engine, and it does look dirty.
I noted that what he was pointing to was dirty, and thought to myself, “Gee it’s connected to an engine fueled by gas and oil which when burned creates what? Hmmm smoke, soot, certainly not anything clean; I think I’ll take a chance for now.”“Good to know, I’ll tell the dealer next time I take the car in.”
“You know, the dealers only want to sell cars, they don’t really care about preventative maintenance and they’ll charge a fortune.”
“So you think they want their cars to crap out so they can sell me a new car? I’m not sure that’s a very good business model.”“Well Sir, my cousin worked at a dealer. The stories I could tell you.”
“Gil, if a doctor told me I needed a new heart value, I would go for a second opinion. I realize the car dealers are underhanded crooks, and I am sure you wouldn’t sell something to me that I didn’t need just to make a commission, after all I have known you for eleven minutes so I can trust you, but right now I just want an oil change and a lube.”“OK, suit yourself. But you’ll be sorry.”
I pulled out ten minutes later and $39.99 shorter after paying for just an oil change and a lube.As I drive today, even though I know better, I keep thinking the pick-up is a little sluggish, and my gas mileage is not what it should be.
“You’ll be sorry,” Fucking Gil!