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Monday, August 29, 2011

TUPPERWARE

TUPPERWARE

Tupperware was invented in 1946.  Tupperware has since been a kitchen storage staple.  In the day, my ex-wife went to a Tupperware party several times a year.  We had Tupperware cups, juice pitchers, and containers of every size.  We had the traditional Tupper-toy ball which held Tupper-blocks of multiple shapes (my record was shoving all the shapes into the ball in 22 seconds.

There is a Tupperware container for virtually every household item.  There is a container to hold a bar of soap, a container to cover and keep your toothbrush sanitary (or create a humid atmosphere to grow germs.)  There is a special container for toothpicks, pizza slices, salt, pepper, head of lettuce, and multiple sizes of the Velveeta brick (a cheese like product).

Tupperware is virtually indestructible, and comes with a lifetime guarantee against damage or defect. 

My wife is a Tupperware fanatic. 

The daughter of a Tupperware party lady, she has been brainwashed into the belief that Tupperware is GOLD. 

We have three cabinets full of Tupperware.  Mrs. Cranky fits this stuff in like a giant Jenga puzzle.  Pull out the wrong container and you are hit by an avalanche of multi-colored plastic containers.  The lids for the multitude of containers are all on a shelf of their own.  They are color coded to aid in matching them up to the containers (no, the lids are not the same color as the container.)  My wife is the only one who knows the code.  Every lid almost fits each container.  Without the code obtaining the magic Tupperware freshness burp is an incredibly frustrating task.

You cannot put the Tupper-gold in the dishwasher; Mrs. Cranky claims it will lose its burp.  I am not allowed to hand wash it.  I am too rough.   I officially hate Tupperware.  Tupperware is symbolic of all things kitchen which men cannot handle.  We cannot store it.  We cannot take it out.  We cannot properly seal it.  We can’t even wash the damn stuff.  You can’t see through it, when it is in the refrigerator we have no idea what is stored in the Tupperware.

Is this stuff really gold?  You can buy a dozen non-Tupperware plastic containers at the supermarket for one tenth the price of Tupperware.  It will not last a lifetime, but you can see through it so you know what it holds.  It won’t do the burp thing so the food gets moldy one day earlier, but at least you can see the mold before you open the container up.

Even cheaper, Chinese restaurants now deliver their product in plastic (Chinese Tupperware) containers.  They don’t last a lifetime, but you can put them in the dishwasher.  When they wear out, you simply throw them away and order more take-out.

I have not heard of a Tupperware party in years, maybe they don’t need to sell the stuff anymore; it does last forever and gets passed down generation to generation.  I know I will never see the day that I can safely open the Tupperware cabinet. 

Damn I hate that stuff!

I told Mrs. Cranky that when I am gone please have a cremation and put me in an urn.  My greatest fear is spending eternity burped in a tightly sealed Tupperware casket.  Blue….With a yellow lid.           

7 comments:

  1. LOL, awesome. Too true, I actually hate the stuff too.

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  2. I hate it as well.

    What is one thing walruses and Tupperware have in common?

    They both like a tight seal...


    Bad joke, I know. Probably about the only thing worthy of a laugh at the expense of Tupperware though.

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  3. Yep, they still have Tupperware parties, believe it or not! I found you on the Monday Mingle hop. I'm following you now. You can find me at TheMamaZone.com

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  4. I once was a Tupperware lady.

    I have seen the error of my ways and now swear by a combination of chinese takeaway containers (they are the only ones we ever had in Australia, so we've known of that little recycle since the 70's at least) and a cheap supermarket brand.

    My Workaholic likes to kill tupperware using tomato pasta sauce and the microwave...

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  5. I have Tupperware, it has it's uses. I do agree that there is no good way to stack it and have been hit by tumbling Tupperware on many occasions. Such a good, honest post.

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  6. ROFLMAO....awesome post. I wanted to stop by and thank you for joining the Planet Weidknecht Weekend Hop. I hope you'll join in again.

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  7. I've only ever bought from Tupperware once in my life. I have some lunchboxes that I used to take with the kids when we went swimming, but you can't stick a label on them so I can't use them for school. Most expensive plasticware I ever bought, and one of them broke the clasp and when they went to replace it, they no longer made that colour of tupperware lunchbox anymore so I ended up with a blue lunchbox with a pink lid--not popular with my boys. Thanks for linking up.

    ReplyDelete

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