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Monday, July 11, 2011

TOP TEN STUPID THINGS ON THE JERSEY SHORE

TOP TEN STUPID THINGS ON THE JERSEY SHORE

My two weeks on the Jersey Shore is over, with apologies to David Lettermen here are the top ten stupidest things I saw this year on the Jersey Shore:

10. A 300 pound man in a Speedo.  YEECH!

9.     Tramp stamp tattoos.  Explain the butterfly on your butt to you grandchildren thirty years from now.

8.    Skim boards - $100.00 to slide 10 feet and then flop really hard on your ass!  This is fun how?

7.    One year olds with a bikini top?  Come on let those puppies hang out, your mommy does!

6.    Children collecting jellyfish. 

5.    Boardwalk rides.  Twenty dollars to vomit!

4.    A Snooky/Situation sighting.  Two hundred gawkers following with cameras, five cops, three bodyguards, three film cameras rolling in front and back of the “Reality” Stars.  REALITY?  REALLY?

3.    Three dollars to throw two footballs through a tiny hoop all to MAYBE win a fifty cent stuffed piece of crap.

2.    Casper the Ghost turning bright red and still sunbathing.  Can you get enough sun?

1.    The #1 stupidest thing I saw – A child’s boogie board shaped like a baby seal.  Exactly what they use on those “Shark Week” TV shows to troll for the Great White Shark.  “Hey Dad, why not add a chum bucket full of fish guts just for good measure?”
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4 comments:

  1. #7, yes, yes, and yes. What kind of moms are these people?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Whatis the world coming to?

    Glad you had a good time anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  3. In Wildwood I saw a pregnant teen mom with her husband and 2 year old kid. Both parents were wearing a shirt that said "Senior Week 2011". Second, I saw a pregnant teenage mom walking with the boyfriend wearing a shirt that says I support single moms (the moms were pole dancing). A 15 year old girl with the initials DTF on her butt (Down to F#@*). Shorts with the saying "Mike's Bitch" or "John's Property" on the butt.

    ReplyDelete
  4. #2 sounds like the Irish backpackers on Bondi beach during summer.
    Thanks for confirming that I don't need to go to Jersey Shore.

    ReplyDelete

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