Day four of our two week vacation, and the swimming/boogie boarding has been….not good! The water is 63 degrees, not horrible, but we have been attacked by salps! Fifty five years of the Jersey shore and I never heard of salps. They are marble sized jelly like creatures that make swimming in the ocean like swimming in tapioca pudding. They do not sting, but they are…this sounds a bit gay, but the only way to say it is they are ICKEY!
Surf fishing is also trumped by the salps, as they wrap around your line, and clog rod eye holes, making casting impossible. Without swimming, boogie board riding or surf fishing, Spencer was bored. Spence stayed in the house and played Playstation II. Thirteen year olds do not understand the beauty of sitting in the sun, reading, talking, sleeping, and or just getting burnt to a crisp.
Ordinarily I do not feel responsible for entertaining my kids while on vacation. I tell them that I am on vacation; they are just along for the ride. The scalps changed that. I hated seeing Spence bored, so I decided to take him fishing. We went fishing on a party boat, the Norma-K, out of Point Pleasant N.J. OK, I have been wanting to try this for several years now.
Fishing was from 2 PM to 6:30 PM. We were going bottom fishing for Fluke. Fluke are a funny flat fish with both eyes on the same side of their head. They are very good eating. For some reason when you fish for Fluke they are Fluke. When you order them at a restaurant they are Flounder. I have never seen a boat advertizing Flounder fishing, and I have never seen a menu offering Fluke francaise, or broiled Fluke stuffed with crab meat.
It was a beautiful day, 94 degrees a slight breeze, but calm seas. After a quick lesson in operating the rod and reel, and baiting the hook, Spence was a fisherman. We fished for four hours. Neither Spence nor I was a catcherman. To be fair, the fishing was not good, but there were people to the left and right of us who were catching fish. None were keepers (eighteen inches long) but people were catching fish. We caught sunburn and aching backs.
I did catch a five inch sea robin. This is an exceedingly ugly “garbage fish” which I did not even know was on my line until I had to reel in as the boat was going to move to a new spot. Spencer did not even have a nibble.
We did not have a great time.
I submit that fishing is not fishing until you catch a fish. Until you actually catch a fish, fishing is called being a stupid fucking idiot wasting your time holding on to a line that is never ever going to attract a fish.
You fucking cretin you!!
Well, that is how we felt for four and a half hours. It was at least a nice boat trip, and when we returned home, a vodka tonic and a shower NEVER felt so good! Spencer enjoyed a Sunny-Dee and a shower.
Our upstairs neighbors informed us on our return, that today the salps were nowhere to be seen.