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Saturday, April 23, 2011

TEN WISHES

IF I HAD TEN WISHES

1.     I wish I had a nickel every time a politician said “The American People want…”

2.    I wish people would receive a small electric shock every time they said “awesome dude”, “aaight”, ”you know”, or “we was conversatin.”

3.    I wish my ex-wives would come down with a rare disease which would cause them to hic-cup “Camptown Racetrack” four times a day.

4.    I wish at a meeting with the Pope, the Heads of all major protestant churches, The top Rabbi’s from all the Jewish sects, the Major Mullah’s from all of Islam, the biggest Buddhist, and the highest Hindi;  Jesus, Mohammad, Moses, and Buddha would walk in holding hands and yell “JUST FRIGGIN STOP IT!”

5.    I wish everybody called Snooki, Zelda.

6.    I wish the guy in the blue Camry who cut me off and gave me the finger yesterday on the Garden State Parkway would develop incurable BO.

7.    I wish I could wiggle my nose and fuck with anyone named Darren.

8.    I wish scientists would develop a cure for all diseases except the Camptown Racetrack hic-cup thing and incurable BO.

9.    I wish that the first woman President of the United States will be named Bambi.

10.  I wish the New England Patriots would go undefeated for a whole season only to lose the Super Bowl to the NY Giants.

One out of ten ain’t bad!
For more similar crap see
"Maybe It's Just Me!" @

6 comments:

  1. I don't think it is just you! Love your blog!
    Drop by my New Prairie Woman blog to read my true story novel, make a comment and follow if you can.

    Best to you!
    Susie
    newprairiewoman.blogspot.com

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  2. "We was conversatin"?????? They never! Please tell me you made that up. I have to go and scratch out my eyeballs now.

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  3. You might have to drop 'awesome dude' from the electrical shock list - teenage mutant ninja turtles fans like my children would be fried! As for the Darren thing... I'd like that.

    Visiting via the Rewind! Sorry it's been a while since I been 'round. I been conversatin!

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  4. Awesome post dude! You are fond of your ex-wives then? Thanks for joining the Weekend Rewind. I am rather late getting around the place this week. Better late than never? x

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  5. no, they say, "we was havin a convo..." LOL!

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  6. Every time I come here I laugh my ass off! You are one of a kind Cranky! ;)

    Thanks for linking up for Ghosts of Blogging Past!

    btw... love LOVE the pic in your header->I giggle every time I type that word.

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